And how is that called ?

A man received the following text from his neighbour:

I am so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, more than you. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't happen again.
The man, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her.
A few moments later, a second text came in:
Damn autocorrect. I meant "wifi", not "wife".

Todays helping

"Doctor, I can't find a comfortable position to sit."
The doctor examined Harry and said, "I'm not surprised that you're having trouble sitting; you have a good case of hemorrhoids."
He then gave Harry a supply of suppositories, and told him, "Go home now, and use one of these each morning and one at night until they're gone. Then come back and we'll see how you are."
Harry went home, and in a couple of weeks returned, still complaining of hemorrhoids.
"Well," said the doctor, "Did you use all of the suppositories?"
"Yes, I did," said Harry. "I took one every morning and every night as you instructed, even though they were pretty hard to swallow. For all the good they did me, I might just as well have shoved them up my bottom."

Two silver doors

A fifteen-year-old Amish boy and his father were in the new mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, "What is this, Father?" The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheelchair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a small room.
The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally, the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old woman stepped out. The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, "Go get your mother."

The blonde and the bodybuilder

A body builder takes off his shirt.
A blonde says, "Wow, what a great chest you have!"
He says, "100lbs of dynamite, babe!"
He takes off his pants and the blonde says "What massive calves you have!"
He replies, "That's 100lbs of dynamite, babe!"
He then removes his underwear and the blonde runs off screaming in fear. He puts his clothes back on and chases behind her. He finally catches up with her and asks why she ran like that.
She says, "I was afraid to be around all that dynamite after I saw how short the fuse was!"

Do you remember president Reagan ?
I hope you remember the Soviet Union.

The old lady and her nuts

So I was sitting on the bus just reading a book when somebody tapped me on the shoulder.
I turned around and saw an old lady. She said to me, "Sonny, would you like some nuts? I've got a couple hazelnuts and almonds if you'd like."
"Sure.", I replied. Then she gave me a handful of nuts and went back to sit with her friends.
"What a nice lady", I thought, while happily munching on the nuts.
A few minutes later, I felt another tap on my shoulder and there she was again, offering some nuts. I gladly accepted and she went back to her seat.
After about 10 minutes, she tapped me on the shoulder, once again offering some nuts.
I asked her, "Why don't you eat them yourself?"
"Because we've got no teeth", she replied.
"Then why do you buy them?", I asked.
"Oh, because we just love the chocolate around them."

The above is not a joke is a fact.
How so many people can't understand that is a fact too.

And my joke:
Farmer Steve

Farmer Steve decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court, the trucking company’s fancy lawyer interrogated Farmer Steve.
“Didn’t you say at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine?”‘ asked the lawyer.
Farmer Steve responded, “Well, I’ll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Suzie into the…”
“I didn’t ask for any details,” the lawyer interrupted, “just answer the question. Did you not say at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine?'”
Farmer Steve said, “Well, I had just got Suzie into the trailer and I was driving down the road…”
The lawyer interrupted again and said, “Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the highway patrolman on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.”
By this time the judge was fairly interested in Farmer Steve’s answer and said to the lawyer, “I’d like to hear what he has to say.”
Farmer Steve thanked the Judge and proceeded, “Well, as I was saying, I had just loaded Suzie into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Suzie was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn’t want to move. However, I could hear ol’ Suzie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a highway patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Suzie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the Patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me.”
“He said, ‘Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her. How are you feeling?”

Now what the hell would you say

I see all the jokes are in Russian. I collected a long time away some jokes but in English and I will put one for the beginning.
I can't see a rule forbidding it but if it exists please delete my post and I will stop. If not please tell me and I will add.

The presidents balls.

An elderly woman enters the Canadian National Bank with a bag full of money
She insisted she wanted to speak with the president of the National Bank in order to open an account, saying "a lot of money" was to be dealt with.
After some hesitation, the staff escorted the elderly woman to the president's office. The president asked how much money she wished to deposit in the bank.
'$165,000' she answered, and poured the bank notes from her bag on the table.
Obviously, the president got really curious about the origin of all this money, so he asked where the cash came from.
'Gambling' she muttered.
'What kind of gambling?' the president asked.
'Bets. Let me give you a real example. I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are rectangular.'
'Hahaha. That's a stupid bet. You could never win.'
'Would you care to accept the bet, then?' asked the elderly woman in a challenging tone.
'Of course! I'll bet $25,000 that my balls aren't rectangular!'
'Since it's such a large sum, would it be possible for me to return tomorrow morning with my attorney as our witness?'
'Sure' said the president of the bank in an extremely satisfied tone.
That night, the president actually got scared because of the bet. He spent quite some time in front of the mirror, checking his balls, turning them to the left, to the right, and to the left again. He meticulously inspected them to make 100% sure his balls weren't rectangular so he could win the bet.
The next morning, the elderly woman entered the president's office with her lawyer. She introduced the latter to the president and repeated the bet.
'So $25,000 that the president's balls are rectangular!'
The president accepted the bet once again, then the little old woman asked him to lower his pants so they could all see his balls. The president complied. The elderly woman inspected his balls really closely, then inquired whether she could touch them, which the president accepted... after all, he had the opportunity to win $25,000!
That's when he noticed the woman's lawyer started to bang his head against the wall.
'What's the problem with your attorney, m'am?'
'Oh, nothing. Only that yesterday I bet him $100,000 that today I'd hold the president of the Canadian National Bank's balls in my hand.'

30 days ?
Installed





Moved the clock to 01.08.2020




Deleted something in registry

Ahmed. Are you sure you want to be banned after your first post since registration in 2015 ?
How you dare to send to a post in Damasgate copied from Lavteam (se post #144 above) with the logo of Lavteam and not related the post before your one (the user post a link for o53).
Take a pause to realise this is Lavteam.

In Autocad 2021

Every few days a new version. It was 042, 044 and now 051. I can't find what's new and why they change the version.

CADInLa 2020 v9.50b
File Size: 104 MB



CADInLa™ 2020 is a modern stand-alone application that prepares the DWG structure for using (as link or insert) in BIM and CAD Systems. With CADInLa™ 2020, CAD users can analyze, manipulate, and fully automatically adapt any drawing to new CAD convention, and erase any and all imperfections in the design.
CADInLa™ 2020 offers a special programming language for advanced adapting of the Layer structure before CAD or BIM. The abbreviation "CADInLa" comes from the full name CAD Interchange Language. Almost all complicated Layer structure adaptations are made possible using this program.
Features:
Reprogramming of Layer Structure
Deleting of Layers or Elements
Adaption of Colors to White Background
Avanced Line Types Changing
Advanced Color Changing
Advanced Line Weights Changing
Advanced Replacing of Fonts
Converting Special Characters and Unicode
Advanced Adapting Text Properties
Advanced 3D to 2D Transitions

Engineering Mechanics: Dynamics, 13th Edition
English 2012
ISBN: 0132911272
PDF | pages: 746 | 105 mb

All around the world is the same but of course Italy, Spain and maybe Iran at least now are the worse.
Let's hope for all the Homo Sapiens will find a solution.

A riddle and a tip together.
How many different combinations of 8 digits you can make using 16 different characters is the number of times you can renew.
I suppose is 10,000,000,000,000,000 so this is the number of times you can renew your trial.

Take some time to renew the trial to 30 days. A little more than 3 minutes including making something, restarting Windows, restarting Autocad, preparing the screenshot, taking the screenshot.
Better than nothing.

Building Structures Ed 3
English | ISBN: 0470542608
2011 | 544 pages
PDF | 32 MB

The comprehensive reference on the basics of structural analysis and design, now updated with the latest considerations of building technology
Structural design is an essential element of the building process, yet one of the most difficult to learn. While structural engineers do the detailed consulting work for a building project, architects need to know enough structural theory and analysis to design a building. Most texts on structures for architects focus narrowly on the mathematical analysis of isolated structural components, yet Building Structures looks at the general concepts with selected computations to understand the role of the structure as a building subsystem―without the complicated mathematics.
New to this edition is a complete discussion of the LRFD method of design, supplemented by the ASD method, in addition to:
The fundamentals of structural analysis and design for architects
A glossary, exercise problems, and a companion website and instructor's manual
Material ideally suited for preparing for the ARE exam
Profusely illustrated throughout with drawings and photographs, and including new case studies, Building Structures, Third Edition is perfect for nonengineers to understand and visualize structural design.